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But you don t have to suffer in a marriage or relationship without trust or communication! How do I know this? Imagine a time when you as a child played on a see-saw with a friend who was bigger and heavier than you were.

Doesn t that make sense? I m going to show you how to make small, yet consistent changes that over time will have a major effect on the quality of your relation....

Whether he (or she) wants to be or not! And just as adding bricks to one side of a see-saw changes its balance, making incremental improvements in the way you relate to your partner will, over time, make a huge difference.

In a marriage or relationship, when just one partner makes changes, it affects the equilibrium of both partners.

You have the ability to positively change the balance in your relationship.

But you, being resourceful, ask your other friend (call her Mary) who is standing nearby to help.

The point is, change only happened on one side of the see-saw, not both sides.

The bigger friend (call him Tommy) is sitting on his end of the board with both of his feet on the ground.

And if you make small, positive changes in your relationship, your mate will take notice and be influenced.

Yet both sides came into balance after you took a number of relatively small actions or steps.

It takes a third brick to finally bring you into level balance with Tommy.

I want to be like Mary, handing you counterweights to get your relationship into an even balance, where you and your mate are equal partners.

Mary, spotting a pile of bricks close by, picks one up and hands it up to you, perched up in the air.

You ask for another brick and now you come down a bit and then stop.

Nothing happens.

It would be nice if your partner was a willing participant, but that s not strictly necessary.

You at the other end of the board meanwhile are stranded in mid-air with your legs dangling down, helpless to change the balance of the see-saw.